Young + Married: One Year Later

When James and I first got married, I had no idea what I was in for. All I knew was that I was marrying my best friend, and together, we can do anything. Yeah, yeah I know marriage isn’t all sunshine’s and rainbows, but quite honestly I could not be happier! I started my blog when we first got married (you can read it here!) and I feel like I have learned a tad more during this past year.

1. Have date nights. I’m serious, this is a must! When we first got married, we were both in college so date nights were essential to our sanity haha. We fortunately took two of the same classes, but other than that we didn’t see each other much during the week. Making it a habit to set aside time for just one another can strengthen your relationship like no other. Now that James is working, I was afraid I’d never see him. But I feel like we spend more time together than we ever have before! (woohoo for his 4 day work schedules!)

2. Don’t dwell in the past. Do not use things from the past in your present arguments. This was huge for us both to learn when we got married! It was so easy to point out things from the past and bring them up, but we have definitely learned now. After just sitting down and talking it out, you realize that even if the past kinda hurts, what can you do about it now? If it isn’t something to lose sleep over, don’t. (I know easier said than done!) But I promise once you both move on from the past, forgive and forget, you can enjoy the present more and be more in the moment of your marriage.

3. The chore talk isn’t off limits! When we were in college, we were both gone a lot! We had a whiteboard that we updated every month and it was super helpful. We had weekly chores that we split up and it made life so much easier. But, this kind of has to be customized to your marriage lifestyle. Now that I am home all of the time, I am in charge of taking care of the house because he is the one working. Although it may be a pain depending on your situation, definitely talk it out and decide who will do what. This talk will make sure that the dishes or your laundry aren’t getting neglected 😉

4. Make your own personal time. It is so easy to want to smother each other in the first year. If you have free time don’t make yourself feel obligated to spend it all with your spouse. And don’t expect your spouse to do the same! If your hubby wants some time alone, be understanding. Trust me I love my husband to death, but sometimes I need my time and vice versa. I’m not saying never spend time with your spouse, but do not lose yourself in the mix! Enjoy your hobbies, you deserve it!

5. Take pictures! You don’t know how fast a year flies by until you look at all the pictures you took and feel like they were taken just the other day. I am a huge fan of taking photos {my husband not so much} but I just love looking back on them and the memories that go along with them. Take picture on holidays, birthdays, snowy days, happy days, dates, anytime you would want to remember with your loved one. I promise, you will cherish them forever.

6. The marriage is between two people. You & him. Try not to let other people dictate your marriage or make assumptions/opinions on it. No one is in this marriage but the two of you. Everyone will have an opinion on your marriage (especially when you get married young!) and it is up to you to ignore it. At the beginning I had more people telling me about my marriage, giving me counseling that was very much unwanted haha. Just remember, most people are doing this because they love you and care about you. Don’t take too much offense to it if your family members are giving you advice, take it and be thankful for their help! But, at the same time don’t let strangers tell you your marriage won’t last or you are too young to be in a commitment, etc. They do not know you nor your marriage, so take it with a grain of salt… Or half a grain if that’s possible haha. ​

7. Be faithful. During this past year I became a member of the LDS church, a church that my husband was already a part of. In my Y&M blog post, I wrote that you need to have a Christ-centered marriage. That still rings true today, but saying it and living it are two different things! During this past year I have never felt so close to Jesus Christ as I do now. In our church, family is most important. Even if you are not a member, I strongly suggest you read The Family a Proclamation to the World. It is the fundamentals that we live by + is our daily goal to follow. 

8. Love each other. Uh, duh Amy. haha I am dead serious though! Cherish the time with one another, and love each other unconditionally. People always ask me how I like being married and I can’t help but smile and say ‘I absolutely love it’. I feel like we are still in that honeymoon stage and I truly believe that will never go away. When you love someone, really and truly love them, every day you will find another reason to fall for them 100 times over. Marriage isn’t easy, nor is it for everyone, but when you find the person you know you need to be with for all of eternity; it all is just so worth it. Here is an excerpt from my first post that really resonates what I’m trying to say. “Marriage is difficult no matter what age you are, it is how you handle the difficulties that makes it a strong marriage. I am still learning and growing every single day, but that is the great part about it.” Don’t expect things to be easy breezy, but also don’t get doubtful when things get tough. That’s part of this whole experience!

Although a year may seem like such a short amount of time in the long run, I feel that we both have grown so much during that time. I look forward to the many, many years ahead of us and I am so glad I made this blog from our beginning! We have so much to experience ahead of us and it will be so awesome to look back at all these posts later on. Thank you to everyone who has been reading along as I type away about my life, it is truly humbling to know that other people enjoy reading about us! When I first wrote Young & Married, I had no idea what our future would hold, only that we would get through it together. Like I stated in my first blog post, marriage is a beautiful thing. Enjoy it, enjoy the perfect imperfections, and most importantly enjoy the unity that is marriage.

Also, huge fail on taking cute photos! haha. I stupidly thought just recording a video and taking screenshots would be easier than using a timer and running into my spot… Wrong! We got home + I was almost in tears because the video turned out so grainy when I opened in in my editor. James and I put our minds together and found out how to copy the computer screen and get it from there… Although it still is pretty sub par it was a fun experience and we took pictures in the house to kind of make up for it. Never a dull moment with this one!