Should I get a degree in teaching? Nursing? Cosmetology sounds fun. What if I went into marketing? Psychology is a great blanket degree to just finish something.
This is my daily dilemma in my head. Oh, but what if I could get a degree in motherhood? Now there’s something us mothers could master. Occasionally, I have an internal struggle with not finishing my college degree. I put it on the back burner, and now between working full time and being a mom it’s hard to imagine where it would fit.
I see friends graduating or being in their final year of college, and I can’t help but feel a tinge of failure for not being a part of the pack.
But, then I look down at my little one in my arms. She sighs in her sleep and the sides of her mouth turn up into a smile. The sight brings tears to my eyes often, my lap is getting smaller and she is growing more and more into a toddler. The baby days are fleeting fast, and oh how I wish I could hold my little baby again.
I think of how much we have accomplished in just one year. The moment she was laid on my chest I felt complete. I prayed so hard for her, but also felt incredibly under qualified to be her mama.
We were sent home and motherhood sank in. The trying and the magical moments all flood in and don’t have a pause button. I feel like I aced my courses in functioning with little sleep, being connected to a breast pump way more hours than I can count, and dealing with a lot of mental health trials that postpartum brings.
But at the end of the day, I thanked Heavenly Father for blessing me so. I would have nothing without motherhood, everything else is so temporary. One day, what awards or pieces of paper we received won’t matter. But raising a child of God, now that is something much greater.
College will always be there, but this time with our children won’t be. I want her memories to be filled of the times I held her close, read every book she handed me: a part of every bit of her childhood.
She won’t care about her mom going to college, but will care about how much love, attention, and adventures we had.
One day, I believe I’ll have this whole college thing figured out. In the meantime I will focus on my degree in Motherhood.
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