Trading Business for Baby

This is a guest post by a fellow military spouse.

When I found out I was pregnant last year, I fully intended to take my allotted maternity leave and return to my career as normal. Roughly halfway through my pregnancy I was very sick and work was causing more stress than needed so I made the very difficult choice to leave my job. At that point I had only been in my career field for a year. The thought of quitting my career so soon after graduation was unimaginable. My husband had just returned from a deployment and we had saved up a good chunk of money but living on an airmen’s salary was still a very daunting situation. I cried for multiple days and had many serious conversations with my husband before we finally made the decision to leave my position. It was one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever made.

As a chiropractor, I have my bachelors, masters and doctorate degree; blood, sweat and tears went into obtaining those degrees and the transition out of my career was very hard on me. Looking back, it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. You hear about how staying home with your children in their early years is such a blessing and how you should cherish it. I didn’t feel that way for a very long while.

In all honesty, I really hated myself for quite sometime and felt like a huge failure especially seeing my former classmates and friends become successful in practice while I sat at home with my baby. It also didn’t help hearing comments from others regarding my decision. I have had strangers, friends and even family question my decision to stay home with my son.

Just to give you an idea, one recent situation that was deeply frustrating went like this; at a family member’s funeral a distant member of my family asked me when I was going to get a “real job”. He also asked my father why he wasn’t making me use my chiropractic education. I was beyond furious and heartbroken all at the same time. At that point, I was just beginning to accept my new role in life and all of those feelings of self-doubt came rushing back in. It took everything within myself to stay quiet and politely answer his questions because we were in fact at a funeral! Thankfully my husband and parents were there to pick me back up and remind me why I had made the decision. After that I vowed to myself to find the good in my situation. I have since made time for myself every single day and make a point to get out of the house and interact with other like-minded people. Doing those two simple tasks has helped tremendously with my transition.

I am able to accept my decision and tweak my outlook a bit. Instead of feeling like I lost a part of myself I now know that part of my life is simply on hold. Placing that part of my life on hold was the best choice for my family and myself at the time. When it comes down to it my degrees and knowledge are not going anywhere. No one can ever take those away from me and when I am ready to return, chiropractic will be there. Although my days are long and exhausting I truly cherish the extra snuggles, smiles and love my son is giving me right now. Years from now when I am on my deathbed I will not be reminiscing on my career and the money I have made but on the memories I have made with my family. I want to end with a thought that often comes to mind on my most difficult days.

When I was a little girl I had two dreams, to become a doctor and a mother. I have accomplished everything I have ever wanted in life! Now I need to stop dragging my feet and start living the life that little girl could only dream about.