Lifestyle

Reality of Your Husband Being Gone

I treaded my way to the bathroom and almost scared myself. I am the definition of a hot mess.

It’s noon and I still haven’t done my hair, makeup, or changed out of my pj’s.

In fact, I have yet to brush my teeth.

Some may look at me and think I have just lost it and sunk into a depression. In reality, it’s just my way of dealing with my husband being gone.

My routine has been messed up and my best friend, my everyday partner, is now on the other side of the world: and I’m a hot mess. 
Not every day is like this, trust me. Some days I spend all day out of the house, running errands and keeping myself occupied. But, then there’s days like today.

Where I would give anything to have him walk through the front door and give me a big hug.
I even miss the  bathroom light being on while he is getting ready, even though I complained every time. 

On occasion, I’m so tempted to stay in bed the entire day and watch Hulu. Other days I want to work out so I am in the best shape possible for when he gets home.

This is just the reality of when your husband is gone. You are a time bomb of emotions and sometimes you just need to eat pizza for breakfast and have chocolate for dinner. 

Just know you are not alone, as so many military spouses feel the similar need to just be ‘bumming it’. While a long distance separation like this can bring you down, there is so many positive things that I, and other milspouses, have learned. 

I feel like during this deployment I learned so much about myself. I feel like I grew as a person. I learned more about who I am, what I want, and a little about what makes me tick. If you are currently going through a deployment, use this time to better yourself and to learn about yourself. – excerpt from Singing Through the Rain

I am just sharing the reality of the situation. I don’t want to sugarcoat anything because it does stink big time. 
I am grateful I have some family and friends around me, but I find myself just needing my alone time and wishing he was here.

It’s been a few months now, and I thought I was better at dealing with this, since we already went through a long deployment. But really, how can you ever get used to spending time away from your husband? 

What are some realities of your husband being gone? 

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  50. Sailor wife says:

    I just made it to the 3 month point of this deployment! *happy/sad* And I know exactly how you feel. Some days I just cry, nothing can stop it. Other days I am so busy that I realize it’s over and need to make sure and email him. This stuff sucks, but having you there for him is more important than any of us realize. Good job sweetie! Keep up the good work and know you are definitely not alone!
    Military wives – we stick together!

    1. Amy says:

      You are so strong, 3 months is a challenge in itself but you got this!!!
      I am so so grateful I am not alone in this mindset and that you can relate. Thank you so much for your sweet comment, I love that military wives are so great on being there for eachother.
      Best of luck to you and your man, keep up the great work yourself + know you are one day closer. ♥

  51. Jessica Anderson says:

    I can only imagine how hard it must be for you girl, hang in there!! You’re so strong <3

    1. Amy says:

      Jessica- You are the sweetest!! Thank you so much girl, we are in the homestretch now! We got this. 🙂 Thanks for commenting.

  52. Antionette Blake says:

    I am not a military wife nor a newlywed, but I can understand your loneliness. I am wishing you strength during this time and hope that you find enough to fill the days until your hubby returns.

    1. Amy says:

      Antionette,
      You are so sweet! I really appreciate & thank you for your comment. ♥♥♥

  53. Katrina Honer says:

    Hang in there girlie! I am not married but I have a long history of military members in my family and it was always hard for me when my dad was on deployment in additional to being in a long distance relationship for three years where at first I could only see my bf every 6 months now it has gone down to three. When I miss him, what keeps me going is the fact I will see him again – just like your husband is working just to come back home to you 🙂
    You’ll never get used to the time apart or the loneliness but your love just grows stronger every day and before you know, he’ll be back by your side.

    1. Amy says:

      Thank you Katrina!!
      Thank you for your dad’s service, I can’t imagine going through that as a child. 🙁
      I love that you are staying so positive and finding things to make things better during the distance. I hope the distance closes between you and your boyfriend very soon!
      You are very right, the sadness never goes away, but it has strengthened us and our love soo much. ♥

  54. Maggie Frei says:

    I’m on my 4th deployment. In some ways each has been different due to the first 2 both my girls were still home, the 3rd I had one kid still home and this one, I’m alone.
    You get used to deployment life kinda, but not as much as you’d think. The good things are: 1.basically doing your own thing (tho that’s not completely true–you plan your day around when he can call & and he still has input in some choices–which is what marriage is, but can be annoying when you feel like ‘you got this’ LOL) and 2. Learning how to do the things he normally does, which can make you feel pretty empowered (after the drudgery of it it’s over) 🙂 .
    You also find you still don’t necessarily hang out with other people more (at least I don’t). You don’t want to intrude on their lives or no one invites you any more than they did before.
    You go to the movies alone.
    You may eat out alone–or not, because you realize how much of a social thing it really is and out it doesn’t seem very appealing anymore.
    You talk to him daily, even twice. You’re there for him to vent to, he needs that. You talk about stuff, and often try to figure out what to talk about because nothing new has happened in the last 8 hours :-).
    He has a countdowns (especially the closer to the end of the deployment) he figures out ways to make it seem shorter–only 8 more paychecks, after a such-n-such event it will only be a month, etc.
    Most of the time, you’re ok. But, even on those nights you put in your favorite dvd, have your favorite treat, it still sucks to turn the tv off when it’s over and go thru a quiet house and head to a bed that is only messed up on one side.

  55. Felisha says:

    I am so sorry you’re having to deal with this! I am unmarried, but being alone sucks sometimes. Good luck, girl. Hopefully blogging will help you!!!

    1. Amy says:

      Thank you so so much for your comment. Being alone, is being alone, it stinks sometimes! Blogging definitely helps though. It gives me something to do and look forward to. 🙂

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