The Struggle of Living Away from Your Mom & Becoming a Mom Yourself

Growing up in a small town, I always imagined a certain kind of future for myself and my children. I pictured my kids growing up with their grandparents just minutes away, being able to attend grandparent days, school events, the works. Call me delusional, but I planned on staying in my hometown my entire life and never imagined a world where I’d live anywhere else.
​
That all changed when I met my husband who’s in the military. Suddenly, I found myself states away, later to be pregnant, and alone. I no longer had my safety net (otherwise known as mom) and I felt scared. All of a sudden I was going to transition to becoming a mom, without the one person who had always been that role in my life. How could I become a mom without my mom?

My mom, thank the Lord, was able to be present for my baby’s birth and stay that first week with me. There I learned from the woman herself how to take on this new title.. She taught me how to breastfeed and not give up, how to take care of her, and basically reaffirmed how lost I would be without her. (Don’t let her know I said that, she would neverlet it go if she knew!) But most importantly, she taught me that I can do this. My mama, after all, raised me right: to be independent and keep faith.

Being a mom is the biggest blessing and she raised me to adapt in any situation and prevail. I may not physically have my mom here with me or the ability to drive a few minutes and have her help. But, I do know that I can call her at midnight for advice or just because I need to hear my mom’s voice.
When you are growing up, you don’t really appreciate your mom as much as you should. You don’t see the behind the scenes stuff that goes into becoming a mother, until you become one yourself.

Becoming a mom is so scary, because now we all of a sudden have to live up to everything our moms are, and it’s a lot of responsibility to take on that change; and to do it alone.

Moving away from my mom, was very hard on both of us. While I know my mom was heartbroken to lose her best friend (yes I consider myself that!) I know deep down she feels proud because she raised me and did a darn good job at it too. If you are a new or expecting mom, know that the feeling of being alone and scared is perfectly okay. Being so close to your mom makes leaving so much harder, but with that closeness comes comfort that she did her job. You built a strong relationship that even a few states between you couldn’t take away. Now it’s our turn to carry the torch because she prepared you for this and we will do the same for our children.

Don’t fear motherhood because you are definitely not alone. This is a community and when they say it takes a village, they aren’t kidding! Befriend other mothers and surround yourself with good people. Being away from your mom is hard, but it gives you the opportunity to be independent and grow in your new role as a mother.